I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
