it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
