when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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