um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
