Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
