How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
The struggles of a small town man whore
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Randomize
