My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I touched a dick in church today
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
