Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
