i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Randomize
