so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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