I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Randomize
