R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
