No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
