Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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