Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
