I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
