Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
