Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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