called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
