well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Randomize
