Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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