i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
