Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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