I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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