capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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