Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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