Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
