how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
