bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
