Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
