There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
