i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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