Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
You need Xanax blowdarts
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
