OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
