Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
