haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
