I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
