You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Just high enough for therapy.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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