I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
