That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
