I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
