great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
