His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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