he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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