I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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