Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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