Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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