We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
