can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
a search helicopter?!
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
