hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
