I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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