SEEEEXXX PLEASE
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
