I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
